Colson Center
Is Cohabitation Good for Relationships?
Colson Center : Apr 11, 2024 10:34:00 AM
You’re in a conversation and someone says, “Biblical marriage isn’t just between one man and one woman. In the Bible, polygamy is normal, and the Bible never condemns polygamy.”
What would you say?
The Bible contains several accounts of polygamy, including by some of its most important figures such as Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon.
Do the Bible’s portrayals of polygamy mean that the Bible is not clear about marriage? No, and here are three reasons why.
You’re in a conversation and someone says, “Biblical marriage isn’t just between one man and one woman. In the Bible, polygamy is normal, and the Bible never condemns polygamy.”
What would you say?
The Bible contains several accounts of polygamy, including by some of its most important figures such as Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon. It is not uncommon for those who hope to discredit Christian moral teaching about sex and marriage to point to the polygamy in the Bible in order to justify the recent innovations of polyamory and same-sex marriage.
Do the Bible’s portrayals of polygamy mean that the Bible is not clear about marriage? No, and here are three reasons why.
First, the Bible begins by describing how God designed marriage as the union between one man and one woman.
The first two chapters of the Bible describe how God created everything, and the creation of man and woman in His image gets special attention. In Genesis 2, God declared that “It is not good that the man should be alone,” and He vowed to make a helper fit for him. No animal could fill that role, so God put Adam to sleep, took a rib from his side, and created a woman. Adam exclaims: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Much later, when Jesus was asked about divorce, he pointed back to this creation account as the definitive pattern for marriage. “Have you not read,” He responded to his questioner, “that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
God’s original intent for marriage is for one man and one woman to be joined together for life. Other arrangements, including polygamy, are departures from God’s design.
Second, polygamy is described in the Old Testament, but it is never endorsed and always brings negative consequences.
The Bible is filled with honest portrayals of ancient practices and sinful behaviors such as slavery, concubinage, war, human sacrifice, incest, prostitution, and yes, polygamy. Though its authors frequently describe these practices as part of the narrative without commenting on whether they’re right or wrong, as pastor and author Sam Emadi points out, we must not think that what the text describes it also prescribes.
In fact, the consequences of the polygamous marriage described in the Old Testament are not good. The first description of polygamy in the Bible is Lamech who, according to Genesis 4, took a second wife. He is described as a descendant of the murderous Cain and a proud murderer. His polygamy is another example of his wickedness.
Another famous example is Jacob, who takes two wives, plus two concubines. Because of the clear favoritism Jacob shows his second wife, Rachel, deep animosity develops between her sons and those of his first wife, Leah. This results in the sons of Leah selling one of Rachel’s sons into slavery and lying about it.
To curb the consequences of polygamy, Moses later outlawed that type of favoritism. In Deuteronomy 21, he forbids men from being biased in giving out inheritance. While still acknowledging the existence of polygamy in ancient Israel, this and other laws protected women and children from being taken advantage of by fickle men.
Moses also issued a strong warning against polygamy for Israel’s future kings in Deuteronomy 17: “And [the king] shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away.” Later in the Old Testament, we read about a king who ignored this commandment, and his polygamy almost destroyed Israel. According to 1 Kings 11, Solomon “had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines.” And “when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods.” Solomon’s polygamy began a pattern of wickedness that God punished by splitting the kingdom and eventually sending the people into exile.
Yes, the Old Testament includes examples of polygamy in its honest portrayals of sinful men. But it never says it’s a good thing. In fact, it shows just how serious the consequences of polygamy can be.
Third, In the Bible marriage portrays the love Christ has for His Church.
Throughout the New Testament, Jesus is described as the “bridegroom,” and the Church as His one bride. This image is at the heart of Christian teaching about marriage. Nowhere is this more evident than in Ephesians 5, where the Apostle Paul instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to Christ, and for husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Like Jesus, Paul points back to the origin of marriage, as described in Genesis 2, where a man is instructed to leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, “and the two shall become one flesh.” “This mystery is profound,” writes Paul, “and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
The Bible’s clearest passages on marriage leave no room for polygamy, or for any other deviations from God’s design. Instead, a monogamous union is the picture God gives of His own love. Marriage as God designed it symbolizes the faithful, sacrificial, and unbreakable love Jesus has for His Church. Jesus has only one bride, and He is a perfectly faithful groom.
Jesus is not a polygamist.
So, the next time someone says, “The Bible never condemns polygamy. In fact, it has many examples of polygamous marriages,” here are three things to remember:
First, the Bible begins by describing how God designed marriage as the union between one man and one woman.
Second, polygamy is described in the Old Testament, but it is never endorsed and always brings negative consequences.
Third, In the Bible marriage portrays the love Christ has for His Church.
Emadi, Sam, “Why Did God Allow Polygamy?” Desiring God. May 25, 2021. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/why-did-god-allow-polygamy.
Burk, Denny. “What Does It Mean That an Elder Must Be the Husband of One Wife? (1 Timothy 3).” Crossway, July 7, 2020. https://www.crossway.org/articles/what-does-it-mean-that-an-elder-must-be-the-husband-of-one-wife-1-timothy-3/.
Breakpoint: https://breakpoint.org/the-predicted-push-for-polyamory-is-out-in-full-force/
You’re in a conversation with a fellow Christian who says, “The news is so depressing. I don’t know who to trust anyway, so I’ve stopped following current events.” What would you say? There’s no doubt that following the news can be overwhelming and discouraging… especially these days. Between talking heads on television, moral lectures from celebrities, and rants on social media, it can seem impossible to dig through the noise and know the truth about anything. However, Christians should be informed and aware of what is happening in our culture, not only for our own sake (so we can make good decisions), but for others (especially our children, our friends, and our communities). So how can Christians engage the chaos in the news without getting overwhelmed, discouraged, or burnt-out? Here are three principles to keep in mind. Number 1: All truth is God’s truth. The first and most important principle for Christians when engaging with any content is this: anything true, wherever we encounter it, is God’s truth. God is the Father of Truth. He has gone to incredible lengths to reveal Truth through His world, His Word, and especially His Son, Jesus Christ. Scripture tells that God is loving and that He is in control. That means that His Truth will not change over time. Truth transcends the contexts of different cultures. So, while we can always learn more in each new historical moment, from truths that are new to us to new applications and facets of Truth, the Truth itself does not change. Satan, on the other hand, is the father of lies. Throughout the Bible, from the very first time in the Garden of Eden when Satan tempted Eve, he sets up false narratives to undermine God’s truth and question God’s character as a loving father. That’s still what Satan does today. He hasn’t changed his tactics. So whenever we engage with the news we can keep this in mind. Anything true comes ultimately from God. Anything false, does not. And, even more than false facts, we should look for false narratives that undermine what is true and cause us to question what he has revealed. This leads to our second principle. Number 2: Focus on God’s story first, and the news second. If we don’t know God’s story, we won’t be able to differentiate between true and false narratives. The most important thing for Christians to do is to learn God’s story. If we don’t know what He has revealed, we will struggle to sort through the news with any clarity. In fact, reading and studying the Scriptures—or, learning God’s story—with a community of faithful believers is essential. When we know how to live and think from God’s story, rather than from the world’s narratives, we won’t be confused or despair by what we see in the news because we have a framework for identifying what is true and knowing where the ideas and issues of our culture fit. Number 3: Read local news stories and find ways to transform them. Christians should be most fully engaged with the news from their local area—from their own neighborhood, town, city, and state. Only after this should we focus in on national news. This may seem counterintuitive, but it has several advantages. First, it is easier to sort through competing narratives when the situation is closer to your life. And second, you’re more likely to be able to do something about problems in your local area. For example, reading a national news story about rising poverty levels is depressing and overwhelming. It’s not always clear what the Christ-like, loving response to that story is. But if you read a local news story about how a homeless shelter down the street needs donations, the action step is clear. You can volunteer or donate. You can even organize a food drive through your church, or you can work with a local youth group to do a service day. You can translate the story into action—you can fit the news into a narrative of God’s love restoring all things. So the next time someone says that they’re discouraged or overwhelmed by the news, share these three principles: Number 1: All truth is God’s truth. Number 2: Focus on God’s story first, and the news second. Number 3: Read local news stories and find ways to transform them. For What Would You Say?, I’m Brooke McIntire.
For more on engaging the news, see Chapter 4, "The Information Age," in A Practical Guide to Culture: Helping the Next Generation Navigate Today's World by John Stonestreet and Brett Kunkle.
