How to Have a Conversation: Weak Arguments

You're in a conversation and you see a clear weakness in your friend's argument. You want to drive home your point, but you're worried that they'll disengage if you come across too strongly. What would you say? When talking with someone who feels strongly about something, but may not have the best reasons to support their view, it can be tempting to shut them down with logic. But remember your goal isn't to shut them down, it's to put a stone in their shoe, so to speak; to get them thinking; to do a little gardening. The next time you're in this kind of conversation, here are three things to remember: Number one: Choose your target. What is the point that you want to make? In this kind of situation you're not asking questions to gather information. Rather, you want to use questions to make a point. But what is the point you want to make? That's the key here. Your questions are going to be like arrows that are shooting at a target. So what's the target you're shooting at? What's the specific flaw or weakness in the other person's view that you want to exploit? Your first step is to clearly identify for yourself what the flaw is. Now for example, someone says abortion is healthcare. Now I happen to know that killing an unborn child has nothing to do with healthcare. So that's my target: to show that abortion does not serve the health needs of anyone. So my questions are going to move the discussion in that direction. Number two: Determine the steps you need to take to get to your conclusion. Now, since I've seen what I know to be a clear weakness, that abortion is not healthcare, I also know the particular reasons I can give to show why that's the case, because I've thought about the issue. Now, this is an important point and why this step is harder than the others. You not only have to know that the view is mistaken, you have to know why it's mistaken. You might get this information from other, What Would You Say? videos, or books you've read or courses that you've taken, whatever, but you have to have the specific steps of reasoning worked out in your mind first, before you can go further. Since these are the reasons you're going to be using in the next step. Number three: Ask questions that enlist your friend as an ally in making your point. For example, the person says to me, “abortion is healthcare.” I say to him, “let me ask you a question. What is health care?” He says, “well, it's making someone healthier, obviously.” “Good. Is pregnancy and illness?” “Of course not.” “So,” I say “abortion can't be healthcare for the mother—she's not sick. What about the fetus? What does abortion do to the fetus?” “Well, it kills it.” “Right. Then how is abortion healthcare for the fetus?” What have I done here? I've identified a flaw and the steps that reveal the flaw and a series of questions that enlists my friend as a helper to expose the flaw. So the next time you're in a conversation and someone feels very strongly about their view, remember these three things: Number one: Choose your target. What is the point you want to make? Number two: Determine the steps you need to take to get to your conclusion. Number Three: Ask questions that enlist your friend as an ally in making your point. For What Would You Say? I'm Greg Koukl

Tactics, A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions, 10th Anniversary Edition by Greg Koukl. 

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